I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Randomize
