O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize