omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
