i barfeds in our rink
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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