jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
