So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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