He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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