seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
