If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
do herpes really smell.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
being pregnant is like rehab
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
