i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i just had sex bonerless
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
