Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
