worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
