Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
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She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
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That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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