Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
