then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
