I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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