I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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