I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
