Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
