You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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