If i come over, it means nothing
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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