dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver