Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.

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  (614): Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash. http://tfl.nu/fkwm
  Replies (8) Good night (2894) Bad night (601)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.

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  (240): I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll. http://tfl.nu/r0xh
  Replies (18) Good night (1054) Bad night (3712)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.

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  (912): Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy. http://tfl.nu/2f82
  Replies (42) Good night (837) Bad night (5593)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook

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  (918): People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook http://tfl.nu/2iw1
  Replies (11) Good night (4132) Bad night (843)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.

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  (224): Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day. http://tfl.nu/yhb5
  Replies (39) Good night (4470) Bad night (1097)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.

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  (937): I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge. http://tfl.nu/8lhz
  Replies (19) Good night (4574) Bad night (1166)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..

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  (734): Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night.. http://tfl.nu/1tnp
  Replies (6) Good night (2901) Bad night (1008)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes

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  (802): stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes http://tfl.nu/hzj5
  Replies (16) Good night (890) Bad night (2154)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.

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  (289): Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food. http://tfl.nu/bfcw
  Replies (8) Good night (3609) Bad night (871)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.

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  (206): I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house. http://tfl.nu/11j4
  Replies (3) Good night (744) Bad night (1836)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?

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  (321): Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding? http://tfl.nu/i6fm
  Replies (15) Good night (1379) Bad night (1040)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Way to crack the case Nancy Drew

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  (406): Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced (1-406): Way to crack the case Nancy Drew http://tfl.nu/rhym
  Replies (5) Good night (724) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now

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  (661): I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now http://tfl.nu/9xhp
  Replies (2) Good night (541) Bad night (304)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well

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  (724): I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well http://tfl.nu/bhyq
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out

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  (718): This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out http://tfl.nu/nzmu
  Replies (6) Good night (295) Bad night (483)

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