i will never coherently bang her
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
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My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
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His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...