Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?

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  (614): I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place? http://tfl.nu/g0k2
  Replies (21) Good night (594) Bad night (1804)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag

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  (970): She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag http://tfl.nu/lpir
  Replies (10) Good night (1029) Bad night (2646)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!

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  (740): at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!! http://tfl.nu/mp48
  Replies (72) Good night (3300) Bad night (1170)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.

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  (313): No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/6118
  Replies (11) Good night (850) Bad night (3847)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

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  (651): you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now http://tfl.nu/tgtb
  Replies (27) Good night (8938) Bad night (840)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.

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  (302): I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that. http://tfl.nu/9h2q
  Replies (11) Good night (5554) Bad night (1022)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.

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  (609): I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke. http://tfl.nu/r10e
  Replies (27) Good night (4861) Bad night (1245)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.

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  (952): we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point. http://tfl.nu/kfea
  Replies (31) Good night (4700) Bad night (1206)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up with glitter in my wounds.

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  (778): I woke up with glitter in my wounds. http://tfl.nu/r4io
  Replies (11) Good night (2191) Bad night (1079)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?

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  (901): No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants? http://tfl.nu/d3zx
  Replies (1) Good night (1023) Bad night (477)
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  (585): View more from New York

  There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn

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  (585): There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn http://tfl.nu/f3ez
  Replies (6) Good night (1172) Bad night (473)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.

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  (517): Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair. http://tfl.nu/ga23
  Replies (4) Good night (960) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.

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  (716): Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories. http://tfl.nu/jhay
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip

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  (310): I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip http://tfl.nu/scxm
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (305)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.

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  (515): They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then. http://tfl.nu/zjn9
  Replies (1) Good night (383) Bad night (551)

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