Texts From Last Night

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  (936): View more from Texas

  I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".

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  (936): I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway". http://tfl.nu/2ye8
  Replies (39) Good night (871) Bad night (3327)
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  (831): View more from California

  It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.

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  (831): It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse. http://tfl.nu/4ove
  Replies (11) Good night (4620) Bad night (1099)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?

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  (210): beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon? http://tfl.nu/djkx
  Replies (17) Good night (3869) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"

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  (518): his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed" http://tfl.nu/g8fj
  Replies (22) Good night (2535) Bad night (4857)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me

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  (807): her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me http://tfl.nu/f0ty
  Replies (15) Good night (4384) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Whatever you gave me is making me lactate

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  (918): Whatever you gave me is making me lactate http://tfl.nu/rku9
  Replies (8) Good night (746) Bad night (2767)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah

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  (660): I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah http://tfl.nu/jyz7
  Replies (9) Good night (2168) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits

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  (248): you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits http://tfl.nu/vmd3
  Replies (4) Good night (2200) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking

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  (262): The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/wbzc
  Replies (7) Good night (495) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.

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  (920): I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset. http://tfl.nu/b5mu
  Replies (3) Good night (530) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.

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  (202): A big toe in my vag is not foreplay. http://tfl.nu/p4zv
  Replies (13) Good night (373) Bad night (1724)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.

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  (423): We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off. http://tfl.nu/yele
  Replies (17) Good night (2937) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.

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  (313): We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up. (313): Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals. http://tfl.nu/39hn
  Replies (6) Good night (1270) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.

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  (512): I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down. http://tfl.nu/fm9e
  Replies (3) Good night (325) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.

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  (585): Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire. http://tfl.nu/1iqw
  Replies (3) Good night (464) Bad night (290)

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