who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
