Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
