we have officially lost it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
