if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
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Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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