A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
