You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
