Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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