dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
