I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
