he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
