I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh god it's open bar.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
