That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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