Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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