So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
