Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize