I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
