did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
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