woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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