my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
