if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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