Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
