SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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