I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
