I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Your cock deserves a montage
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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