I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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