Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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