Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
