you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
