she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
