apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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