he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
