But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
literally had 100 drinks last night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
