Buhtt sex?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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