More tranny stories later!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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