Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
