I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize