how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
