If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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