You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
