I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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