But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
