Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
