Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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