hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
